Howard started this morning admitting he might be "crabby" during the show as he'd been up since 2:30 a.m. because couldn't sleep.
After Howard said he woke up thinking about chess, he added he'd read about a teenage chess genius who was skipping high school on a regular basis in order to play the game against people on Wall Street.
This led Howard to say he was "passionate" about chess, and that he'd made the decision as soon as he took up the game to learn the "nuances" of it, which he also said, though, was the reason he couldn't sleep sometimes.
Despite Howard's explanation, Robin didn't think chess was what really was keeping Howard up, and he acknowledged she might be right, but didn't want to talk about it any further.
No Longer Able to Help
Following a clip of Laura Bush accidentally saying the word "Jew" instead of "zoo," Howard brought up how some people – including Al Roker – who used to be on Don Imus' radio program were starting to come out and bash Imus.
Howard then commented people like that bothered him because, while he'd been calling out Imus for his racism for years, the people now criticizing him were doing it only because his show couldn't help them promote themselves anymore.
The Bet Remains the Same
Howard played a tape of Bubba the Love Sponge offering to call off his race with Robin if she'd agree to either let him suck on one of her breasts for 10 seconds, use her hand on him or give him cash. Upon hearing the options, Howard asked Robin which of the first two she'd choose, and she went with the breast sucking given its brief duration.
Howard proceeded to read an e-mail from a man who complimented Robin on the improvements she'd made this past weekend during her participation in the Toyota Long Beach Grand Prix. Robin then said she was still adamant about racing Bubba, even if it meant losing their initial wager, which was that she'd have to make out with him if she lost.
Imus Should Say Goodbye to His Better Half
Howard got to a clip of Deidre Imus demanding people stop sending hate mail to members of the Rutgers women's basketball team, and Capt. Janks called in to ask Howard if he felt Deidre would end up leaving Imus.
After Howard responded that he did, in fact, think Deirdre would end up divorcing Imus given his firing, he also noted "Saturday Night Live" did some material on Imus this past week, which he added he found funny.
Howard then played tapes of Buddy Ebsen of "The Beverly Hillbillies" fame to compare his voice to Imus' voice, but had to stop it because of all the phlegm in Buddy's throat.
Although he was happy about Imus' situation, Howard did admit, though, that he believed there was one negative in the controversy surrounding him, and that was the amount of positive press Al Sharpton was getting because of his role in it.
Bring Back' Gary'
Howard took a call from a disc jockey named Gary, who was fired last week over a contest he aired on a station in Stroudsburg, Pennsylvania that used the now infamous phrase "nappy-headed hos." Gary proceeded to mention only "a few people" were upset over his contest, and that he personally went to each of them to apologize for it, but that he was still let go. Upon hearing the story, Howard encouraged Gary's employer of 17 years, Nassau Broadcasting, to "reinstate him" before asking if he had a cancer ranch "to fall back on" for positive press. Unfortunately, Gary told Howard that he didn't have a cancer ranch, and that he didn't do much charity work designed specifically for African Americans either.