Eric the Midget called in to say he thought the New York Yankees were "as big a loser" as Artie was, seeing as the team lost its fourth straight game last night.
After Artie pointed out the silence Eric heard following his "joke" meant he'd never be a stand-up comedian, he asked Eric what he did in addition to watching sports and reality television.
Eric then replied he'd visited Las Vegas and Los Angeles within the past year, but Howard said he didn't think Eric had a life, playing as proof a voicemail that lasted for several minutes and focused on some of the porn stars Eric would be with sexually if Howard could arrange it.
Because Eric was naming specific girls from porn Websites, Howard pointed out he felt Eric was spending much of his time pleasuring himself to online porn, and Eric admitted he was a subscriber to some sites. However, Eric added he didn't masturbate at his computer because of "the mess" it would make, and instead did his business on his bed while thinking about the pictures he'd just seen.
This led Howard to say Beth had taken a private jet to Chicago with Billy Joel, his wife and his crew yesterday for one of Billy's concerts, and that he therefore pleasured himself to a Savannah Samson porn DVD he had in his collection. Richard then came into the studio to read some porn titles from the show's DVD stash and to see if Eric wanted any of them, which he did.