Howard began today saying he thought "American Idol" officially "jumped the shark" following last night's telethon episode for children starving in Africa, while Robin noted she watched part of it as well and didn't think Ben Stiller was funny at all on it.
Gary then came into the studio wondering why the guitarist, Jeff Beck, appeared on the show to backup Kelly Clarkson, adding he felt she had gotten heavier. This led Artie to ask if Bono was on the program – which Gary responded he was – and to again point out Bruce Springsteen wasn't on it, which meant he was safe from the promise he made last year: that he'd "shock his balls" if the Boss ever performed on "Idol."
This led Howard to play clips from the broadcast, with the first being of Dr. Phil commenting it was "always a good idea" to donate money to help children.
In the next tape, Ryan Seacrest, complete with what Robin called his "radio voice," spoke about the atrocities he saw in Africa. Howard went on to say he hated Ellen DeGeneres on the show as well, mostly because all she did was "act confused," an act he admitted he was sick of seeing from her.
One Year and Done
After Artie said that, like Ellen, he felt another comedienne no one could criticize without being labeled homophobic was Rosie O'Donnell, who, Howard brought up, had officially announced that she was leaving "The View" yesterday.
Howard then played clips of Donald Trump talking to Larry King about how he thought ABC really wanted Rosie of its network, and called Barbara Walters "the happiest person on earth" because of the news.
Following more clips of Rosie and Barbara addressing Rosie's announcement, a caller reported he was upset no one was voted off "American Idol" last night, and thought that, if the celebrities that were on it – including Madonna – gave their own money instead of trying to get viewers to hand over their cash, then there wouldn't be any starvation in the world.
Gary proceeded to say he was "creeped out" by Celine Dion's duet with Elvis Presley on "American Idol," and Artie replied his mom called him assuming that, because he was a celebrity, he'd be able to answer technical questions about how the duet was done, but he had to tell her he had no idea.
There's Such a Thing As Too Much Butter
Artie said he was "giving up" asking for extra butter on his morning bagel, noting there was so much butter on his bagel today that he couldn't eat it. After Artie mentioned he thought the bagel looked like it had cream cheese on it instead of butter, Robin said she felt it was bad timing for Artie to throw away the bagel given yesterday's topic (starving kids in Africa) on "American Idol." Howard then pointed out that children in Africa would consider Artie "a god" if they saw how big he was.