While Artie made his way to the mic, the crowd cheered him on, and Artie started by taking shots at Sal and Richard, as well as Lisa, whom he noted had sex with Richard Jeni…yesterday.
Artie went on to say Lisa's boyfriend was a Mets fan, and that he thought they were a perfect match seeing as she had "an ass the size of Sid Fernandez's."
Artie then asked what Jeff the Drunk and Robin had in common before adding, "They both just got rid of an enormous black pain in the ass."
After Artie called Robin's sexuality into question – guessing that the recent "tickle" she had in her throat was actually one of Martina Navratilova's pubic hairs – he got to Andy, asking why Phil Hartman was the member of "NewsRadio" who had to get "shot in the face." Artie then said that whenever Andy went to a sperm bank the nurses asked him to "throw up into the cup," and left the dais to applause.
As Artie sat down, Andy pointed out he enjoyed it when the comedians were funny no matter what they said about him, but also admitted he felt there were too many gay jokes being made.
Trying To Stay Positive
Chris mentioned he approached the ex-NBA player, John Amaechi, who also announced he was gay, at a book signing and asked him why he didn't reveal the news about his sexuality while he was still in the league, and that Jon just rolled his eyes at the question.
Chris went on to report he once taught Jay Leno how to wrestle, and that he found him to be "a dick" who didn't joke around during their time together, and that he was about to write an autobiography.
Chris next reported he was on a number of medications and that he'd been feeling better since the middle of January. Following the call, Robin noted she was "amazed" at Artie's ability to help Chris, and he responded he felt he could be supportive to Chris given their similar pasts in terms of their depression.