Howard opened this morning noting that he was already cranky because he didn't get much sleep last night. He said Beth went out so he watched "Dancing With The Stars" and then beat off right after it ended, prompting Robin to ask if he had the boys or the girls from the show in his head as he pleasured himself. Howard replied by congratulating her on her line, and then assured her it was the girls. Since they were on the subject, Artie claimed he tried to beat off to Miss Howard TV, Amber, last night but even his fantasy she turned down his $100,000.
Gary reported that the Howard TV guys had Amber in the studio till 3PM shooting promos yesterday, a job that normally takes an hour or two. Howard noted that someone had suggested a contest in which Artie puts up $100,000 and then they get hot chicks to bid that down for the opportunity to "date" him. The first "bidder" was a guy named Jerry who offered $50,000 and promised Artie lots of fun "activities".
Howard went on explain his crankiness, saying that he fell asleep at 9:00 but woke up again at 1:30 to pee. Then he started watching the 2 hour finally of "The Bachelor" and couldn't go back to sleep.