The show started this morning with Robin saying, "Hello there jerk," and that's all it took. She was referring to Artie calling Howard a jerk on yesterday's "Wrap Up Show" because he had tried to set him up with a girl who was into fat guys.
Howard said he had heard the same thing and was very upset by Artie's comment, noting that he never wants to bring another girl in to meet Artie.
Gary then piped in that they had a girl who claims to be the female Artie scheduled to come in next month. Howard says cancel her, and Artie replies that its fine with him because he doesn't want Howard to do him any more favors like yesterday.
Howard explained that he wasn't trying to make Artie feel uncomfortable, noting that he'd set up dates for lots of his friends, including Fred with Allison and Ross with his wife Melissa. Artie said he really wasn't comfortable in those situations and doing it on the air just made it worse.
Robin tells Artie that they really don't want to make him feel uncomfortable, to which Artie says, "Good, then shut up." Artie went on to say that, to him yesterday's bit was "let's get the fat guy laid," which he found very insulting. Fred thought Artie was having a tough time lately, with his mother telling him he could look like George Clooney...if only he lost weight.
Howard told Artie he really wasn't trying to make him uncomfortable, noting that brining girls into the studio to see how much they really were into him, was something he liked to do. Artie added that Jen's boyfriend, Lucky, had called into the "Wrap Up Show" and said he'd be upset if Jen slept with Artie, which was enough for him.
Robin, however, thought Jen and Lucky's relationship was like the one Artie was in with the girl he's talked about recently, and wanted to know if he thought that girl would have a problem with him sleeping with Jen – but Artie thought she probably had a problem sleeping with him herself.
Out of the Frying Pan and Into the Fryer
Artie continued to get angrier about the situation, explaining how he felt Howard exploited situations like this to make better radio, which he thought was his true motivation for bringing a girl like Jen on the show. Howard assured him that was not why he did it, he was just trying to help a "bro," which Artie immediately remarked sounded gay. Howard defended his use of the word "bro" saying it was what he called his very good friends, but Artie didn't think they were that close, saying they were really just co-workers, which
Howard argued wasn't the case seeing as he didn't call Sal "bro." Again, Howard said it wasn't his intention to embarrass Artie, but was sorry if he had. Artie, however, wasn't buying Howard's claim that they were good friends, claiming they had never had any real, serious conversations off the air, which Howard called bullshit, pointing out that they had had several deep conversations. Not to be deterred, Artie says, "Yeah right, I let slip that I had a little problem with heroin and the next day you're playing my voicemails and song parodies making fun of me."
Artie continued to complain that Howard always revealed things on that he doesn't want discussed on the air – as an example Artie said he never wanted his "Vegas hooker" story revealed. However, Howard recalled that Artie had given him permission to tell that story. To which Artie replied, "yeah, after you gave me no other choice." Artie also said Howard revealed something he had told him in confidence about Dana, which Howard admitted might be true. Yet again, Howard said he was trying to make great radio by helping a friend meet a girl, who had expressed what he believed to be a genuine interest in him.
He went on to say that he had no idea that Artie would be insulted by the segment, and apologized for offending him...and thanked him for being such a "great employee." Artie wouldn't give up though, arguing that Howard's first motive was always to make great radio, and getting him laid was further down on his list, adding that great radio in this case was, "let's get the fat guy laid." However, Howard swore on a stack of bibles and on his daughters' lives that that was not true, leading Artie to point out how much a stack of bibles meant to him.
Can't We All Just Get Along
Joey Boots called in to say that he thought it was insane of Artie to not appreciate having Howard call him "bro." Boots explained that, as a long time fan of the show, which Artie was as well, he would be thrilled if Howard ever called him "bro." Howard then explained that he uses the word "bro" for his closest friends like Pat Manocchia and Dr. Lou, which is why he used it with Artie. Artie admitted he made the comment about not wanting to be called "bro" in the heat of the argument and hadn't really meant it.
As the confrontation wound down, Artie pointed out that it all started when Robin tossed out the line, "Hello there jerk," and reeled in a whopper. Finally, to "reset" the mood in the studio before the break, Fred played the theme from "Friends" in the background.
Breaking Up the Band
Howard asked if Joey blamed Justin Timberlake for breaking up the 'N Sync, but Joey said it really wasn't like that, explaining everyone just went their own way.
When Joey said they were even talking about getting the band back together, Howard asked if he considered his bandmates, "bros," which he did. Howard also wanted to know what it was like being around Justin when he was dating Britney Spears, and Joey claimed that she was fairly normal back then but admitted she needed to straighten herself out now.
Artie asked Joey at what point they realized that fellow band member, Lance Bass, was gay. Joey recalled how he once walked in on Lance and a friend which was kind of awkward, but added that it never really bothered him because Lance was a friend and he was happy for him. Artie then joked, "what, did you walk in on Lance and his friend watching a Mets game?"