Eric the Midget's New Girlfriend

Eric the Midget called in to say Howard was an asshole for not picking up his call and being rude to Meyer Lansky II yesterday. Howard informed Eric that he didn't book Meyer on yesterday's show or have any obligation to pick up calls from anyone. Undaunted, Eric continued with his list of complaints, saying that Howard upset his "girlfriend," Kendra, the other day by asking if she was a porn star. HowardTV played some of Kendra's girl-on-girl videos on the in-studio monitors, and the whole crew agreed that it was soft-core porn. Robin thought Kendra was probably off banging other dudes while Eric was on the phone, but Eric insisted it wasn't true. Gary then laughed that Kendra's website lists her "dream date" as involving a walk on the beach, which, of course, a wheelchair-bound Eric could never enjoy with her.

The (Little) Story of Us

Howard went over a timeline of Eric and Kendra's fast-evolving relationship, so Eric explained that after a two-and-a-half hour phone conversation, they began text messaging each other and decided they were boyfriend-girlfriend. Howard asked Eric if he hoped to marry Kendra, and Eric answered "yeah" without missing a beat – but denied that they'd said "I love you" yet. Artie then said he thought there was a better chance of Kendra marrying a coyote.