The Dice Man is An Animal

Photo: The Howard Stern Show

Andrew Dice Clay stopped by to promote his latest projects and immediately began complaining about the way Howard introduced him this morning. Howard replied that Dice’s hair looked better now it’s dyed. Dice moved on quickly, noting that he had a new girlfriend: “If you can’t call your chick a whore in bed…” Howard said he didn’t believe Dice talked to women like that, but Dice became indignant: “When you get [Beth] in bed, you don’t treat her like an animal?” Howard answered that he did not. Howard asked Dice why he never slept with any of his famous co-stars, like Teri Hatcher, Lauren Holly or Shannon Tweed, so Dice claimed he just didn’t pursue them. Howard said Dice actually had a pattern of not closing the deal, as he once backed out of buying a house because the seller owned African art (Dice thought they were voodoo dolls) and had the number 666 in his phone number. Dice admitted the story was true: “I believe in bad vibes…I’m superstitious.”

Dice Will Break In To A Pussy

Dice confessed that he didn’t lose his virginity until he was 18 and never looked back: “If I kiss a chick, I’m like a mechanic. How a chick kisses you is how they act it bed.” Howard told Dice to try his method on Robin, but she refused. Howard then asked Dice how he felt about gay marriage, and Dice said he didn’t care about it – and then went on a long rant about it not being real love: “I don’t feel a pussy! I break in to a pussy! That’s love!”