Howard started off the show taking a call from Eric the Midget, who again demanded an apology from Natalie Maines for statements she'd made about the Bunny Ranch whores who took his virginity.
Eric also wanted an apology from Howard because he discovered that the guy who took his Real Doll measurements wasn't really affiliated with the company.
Howard admitted the guy was a comedian: "But that doesn't mean he can't take measurements...quite frankly, I could've measured you...The company doesn't usually make dolls based on real people. Why would they employ a full time measurer?"
Artie thought it would be funny if Eric had sex with his Real Doll, so he could truly, "Go f' himself."
Eric said he also wanted a blowjob from Natalie to make amends, so Howard laughed: "Oh, I'm sure she'd blow you. I'm sure a woman who has millions of dollars, a Grammy and a husband can't wait."
Eric didn't listen: "Where is she?" Howard laughed, "She's not at your beck and call...she's sleeping. She lives in LA." Eric said he could care less and demanded an apology from Natalie by tomorrow. Ralph then called in to ask what the consequences would be, and Eric promised to formulate some and get back to Howard.