The Bunny Ranch's Brooke Taylor stopped by with Michael, the listener who won her services in the Big Loser Contest, to discuss their evening together. Michael said he was a virgin before meeting Brooke, and Brooke cut in to laugh that Michael actually called his mom before they got down to business. Michael confessed that he asked to be called the n-word during their session: "I told her to say, 'Bang me like we're on the plantation.'" Brooke said Michael was one creepy dude: "The reason this man is a virgin? He didn't want to have sex with us. He has an oral fixation. He wanted to suck our toes." Michael confirmed the story, saying he couldn't really perform sexually because he'd been so excited beforehand that he had to jerk off: "All over my sister's computer. I know she's listening and I'm sorry...I shouldn't have jerked off. I got impatient." Brooke added that all Michael wanted to do was trade oral sex acts.
A Freak Of the First Order
Michael noted that another Bunny Rancher named Air Force Amy joined them in the bedroom, and, like Eric the Midget, he became so attached to the girls that he now cries at night. Howard wanted a unifying theory about Michael's strange behavior, so Robin offered: "He's been masturbating his entire life and not even his masturbation is normal. He just sat there and said he can masturbate for 3 or 4 hours and not finish. He's not gay. He's a freak. He's a freak of the first order."