Ass Napkin Ed called in to say he was trying to sell his ass napkins on Ebay, but the site's administrators keep taking his auctions down. Howard asked what else Ed was up to, so Ed said he'd actually been talking with Howard in his head: "[You told me] to go sit in the bathtub." Howard told Ed that he wasn't really in his head, but Ed didn't believe it. Ed then asked if he could park the camper he plans to buy in Artie's beach-house driveway, but Artie said no.
Howard gave Ed the opportunity make a little cash by playing The Beetlejuice Game, promising him $500 if he could correctly guess which questions Beet would answer correctly: Who is Saint Nick? Ed didn't think Beet would know the answer, but Beet had it down: "Saint Nick is f'ing Santa! Think I don't know that shit?" What holiday do the Jews celebrate during Christmas? Ed correctly guessed that Beet would get it wrong: "Who gives an f' about Jews?" Name this tune [David Bowie and Bing Crosby's version of "Little Drummer Boy" plays].
Ed knew Beet had no chance, and true to form, Beet's answer was impossible to understand. What is the drink served during Christmas made with egg and milk? Ed again predicted that Beet would mess up, but Beet was on point: "What? That's egg-nog, moron." What is the name of the plant people kiss under during Christmas? Ed correctly guessed that Beet would blow it: "I know what that is. It's an f'ing reindeer kiss."