Howard started off the show with the Secret Santa gift exchange and presented Ken the Intern with a check to cover a major portion of his outstanding student loans. Ted Sommer from HowardTV then came in to give Howard his gift, but before he did he promised to be gracious no matter what it was. Gary then piped into ask if he really meant that and reported that the guys in the back office were betting that it would take about 30 seconds for him to start trashing his gift. Ted then unveiled his gift: a 350lb black marble gravestone. Howard was shocked: "Wow. Isn't that nice? I promised to be gracious. Thank you, Ted." After struggling to say nice things for a bit, Howard added, "I can't contain myself. Ted, that is the shittiest gift I've ever received in my entire life."
Gary came in to say the creepiest part was the open date – the headstone was engraved with a portion that read "1954 – ____," along with a picture of Howard and the Howard Fist logo. Ted added that he had struck a deal with the monument company to fill in the final part when the time comes...and handed Howard the guys card. Howard agreed that the gift was a bummer: "Way to suck up to your boss." Ted laughed that it could be used as a [350lbs.] doorstopper, and Doug Goodstein from HowardTV came in to suggest that they smash it with a sledgehammer. Howard didn't like the ideas anymore than the gift: "It's creepy."