Eric the Midget Beats Ambien

Eric the Midget called in to discuss his American Idol Webcast, so JD came in to say Eric's show was so boring, he had to stand while editing the audio to keep from falling asleep. Howard laughed that Eric couldn't even be heard on the show, and after hearing some clips, Eric agreed. Howard then told Eric that his "girlfriend," Kendra's, refusal to visit to him makes her "the meanest person ever," which upset Eric so much, he hung up.

Aching For That Midget Touch

Eric called back in, so Gary read the message Eric sent Kendra along with a gold-cast rose from Steven Singer jewelers: "This rose is symbol of the fact that it symbolizes that my heart is as pure as the gold. You are as beautiful as the rose." Howard told Eric that he could do better, and Eric agreed, saying he had to think quick. Howard then announced that Jimmy Kimmel was willing to pay for Kendra to visit Eric, but Eric resisted.

Howard asked Eric if he could start looking for a better love match for him, but Eric claimed Howard could never find a woman who compared to Kendra. Robin wondered if Kendra had ever told Eric that she "ached for his touch," and Eric admitted she had never said that. Eric's answer led Robin to refer to Kendra as his "imaginary girlfriend," which angered him and caused him to insist the crew's suspicions were unfounded.