Ho Career, Phase Two: ‘Tantric Massage’

Howard got Loralai, a former-$2,000-a-night hooker, on the line and asked if she wished she could get the same exposure as “Kristen.” Loralai said no, adding that she got out of the business after September 11th, when business got “careful.” Gary brought in a picture of Loralai’s incredible body (her face was blurred out) and told the crew that she looked to be worth the high price. Howard asked if she ever turned down a client, and she admitted that she’d refused only one man because he’d called her whore.

Loralai confessed that she was now engaged to a former customer and does “tantric massage” for a living, which involves “a lot of ass-play.” Loralai added that some “tantric” masseuses go so far as to administer prostate massages, but she does not. Howard wondered if he could send Artie over to get a massage, and Loralei said she’d be glad to, promising to put Artie in a “trance” with her skills. After seeing an unblurred picture of Loralai’s face, Howard was blown away and demanded that Artie follow through.

Howard said he would have no problem paying for a handjob/”massage” from Loralai if he wasn’t dating Beth – he’d even pay as much as $400. Artie asked if Howard had ever had a similar thing happen at a strip club, and Howard said yes; one time when a girl was dancing for Beth while Beth leaned against him, he got really excited and couldn’t control himself. Robin then speculated that there was no way Howard could have a real relationship with Loralai, and Howard agreed.