The Family Stays Together

Howard kicked off the show by taking a bunch of calls from people who thought Artie was back, but Howard held off...leaving it up to Artie to announce: "Yes, I'm here." Howard said it was a miracle, as Artie is not only present, but clean shaven and sober-looking. Artie added, "I'm sorry. I'm very, very sorry. It was all my fault. This week, I've been overwhelmed by people calling me. I feel like part of a family...I f'ed up in a major way. I've been f'ing up my whole life." Artie laughed that the outpouring of support was so great, even Jimmy Kimmel and David Spade called with offers for him to come stay at their homes. Artie then commented on the other question on everyone's mind: "Teddy's a good kid. He wasn't stealing any money from me. I don't want him to quit his job at Sirius."