Howard talked with a girl who claimed she'd do anything to meet Bon Jovi, but she really wouldn't do that much. Just to get an idea of how badly she wanted to meet the rockers, Howard read off a list of completely outrageous things she could do. She nixed living with a bear for a week, letting a cockroach crawl into her vagina, allowing bees to sting her labia, eating her own aborted offspring, raising a hamster in her vagina and licking whipped cream out of Artie's ass (she said she might as long as he got tested first) - but she claimed she would gargle cat urine, lick a tiger's asshole, taste test the staff's sperm and eat a human being's leg.
Howard decided that he would arrange for her to come to New York and meet Jon Bon Jovi if she'd go down to Ground Zero topless and hold up a sign that said "I Love Al Qaeda" - and she agreed! Howard continued to try and press the abortion stunt, but the girl resisted, particularly if she was the mother of the aborted fetus in question: "I don't think anyone would do that...that doesn't even make sense." (Which was the point of the entire phone call.)