Ralph Even Makes Himself Sick

September 2, 2008
Photo: The Howard Stern Show

Howard noted that his time in the Hamptons also ended Ralph’s permanent invite: “I told Ralph he could come for two days. You have to tell him the exact amount of time…I sat him down and told him, ‘I love ya but you’re really hard to have as a houseguest.'” Ralph promised to behave, so Howard invited him out – but when the three went to dinner, Ralph ate and drank like a madman finally crashing in a guestroom, where he ended up vomiting everywhere…in his sleep.

Howard added that at one point he went looking for his dog the next morning and found a fully-nude Ralph sleeping facedown in his own vomit on the bed: “I saw his asshole. It was disgusting.” Later, Ralph called in to defend himself, “I didn’t gorge…I didn’t shit the bed…I was blacked out. I don’t remember it.” Howard told Ralph that he’d ruined about $1,500 worth of bed linens, so Ralph promised to pay Howard back. Howard, however, didn’t want to hear it: “Just don’t come back.”