Comedian, Mike Bocchetti stopped by to promote his new documentary, "Who's Mike Bocchetti?" Howard asked if Mike was mentally impaired, but he claimed he just always hated school because he was picked on all the time: "I barely got out of high school." Mike added that he tried to join the Marines, but they nicknamed him "Space Cookie" and kicked him out of basic training after less than a week: "The minute I got off the bus, it was sheer hell. They were in my face screaming, 'We're gonna play more games with you than Milton Bradley.'" Howard asked Mike when he last got laid, so Mike admitted it's been over three years: "I just never found the right woman. I'm very picky. I like young chicks."
Mike said he lived in his mom's basement, which complicated most sexual situations – the last woman he was with was a prostitute. Mike explained that he masturbates in the basement instead – sometimes three times a day - but he always has to make sure his mom isn't home before he does the deed.