Artie's Off the Subutext

Howard started off the show asking Artie about the state of his sobriety. Artie replied that he was doing great and had finally managed to kick Subutex: "I even asked my security guy not to let me out of my house [during withdrawal]. I pulled a Miles Davis." Howard was surprised to learn that Artie kept a security guy at his home and wondered what Artie paid him. Artie laughed that the security detail was a one-time deal and cost a grand just for the night. Artie noted that a childhood friend of his was also dealing with addiction in an almost laughable way: "He doesn't have any more teeth. So I have to buy him teeth." Gary asked why Artie felt obligated to fund the guy's teeth, so Artie explained that the guy was joining the Lange camp: "He's gonna work for me now. He's gonna be my meet-and-greet guy." Artie then claimed he was finally substance-clear: "I'm the cleanest I've been in a long time."