Gary the Retard called in to talk about his appearance on HowardTV's "Weekend at the Christy's" and said he loved milking the cows best: "I got to squeeze their tits." Howard replied that Gary really must be retarded to confuse a cow's udder with a real tit. Howard asked if Gary pleasured himself to his memory of the udder, but Gary claimed he didn't jerk off at all. No one believed him. Sal came in to say Gary was lying: "About jerking off. About smoking. He's a scam artist."