Guatemalan Travel Tips for Robin

December 9, 2009
Photo: Getty Images

Howard told Robin he had received an email from a listener who had some good tips for her if she goes through with her planned visit to Guatemala.

Here are some of his tips: • Don’t go out after dark, or she’ll be murdered. • Don’t make eye contact with anyone, or she’ll be murdered. • Pick the best looking guide she can, because the guide will take her to a remote place and then tell her that if she doesn’t do what he says he’ll leave her there, and then she’ll be murdered. • Don’t bring any green drink with her, because they already have one down there, it’s called “agua,” and it comes right out of the faucets. • Don’t smile, or she’ll be murdered. • If you are kidnapped, she should shit in her pants, because nobody want to be around someone who smells like that.