Beetlejuice is Now a Cop

Beetlejuice stopped by to plug his upcoming comedy gigs and told the crew he "could be" pursuing a career in law enforcement: "I just hafta do what I gotta do." Artie asked if Beet was NYPD or a "Bobby" from London, but Beetle laughed it off: "Ain't got nothing to do with Bobby." Howard asked if Beet could pass the drug test, and Beet thought so: "I been passin' drug tests since a long time ago...I could pass the test anytime." Robin asked if Beet could ever shoot someone, and Beet said it was no big deal: "I shot somebody before, yeah."

Artie said he didn't know they allowed gay police officers, which pissed Beet off: "I ain't no faggot. You a faggot...I'm telling you like a man that you like a man right now." Howard asked Beet how he felt about gay marriage, so Beet revealed that he hated it: "I don't kiss people with gay marriage and all that shit. That's a gay problem. Let them deal with that."

Beet on Artie: "Who would have children with that fat f'?"

Beet on Obama ... And Packages: When asked about our new president, Beet went off: "I'm a black man but I ain't voting for nobody else...he's a gay f'er! Who cares about Obama? The man's a f'ing weirdo." Robin wondered how Beet felt about Obama's economic stimulus package, but Beet didn't seem to understand: "Do I look like I wanted to be a package? Who wants to be a package?