Rob Schneider Is Not Ashamed

Rob Schneider came by to promote "Big Stan" (which is about a guy who becomes a kung fu master prior to going to prison in order to keep from being ass raped) and said he was disappointed that the film never saw a theater release: "The company that had [the rights] went bankrupt."

Howard repeatedly praised the film, and Rob thanked him: "I got tired of doing the studio system...I couldn't do exactly what I want to do. So I said, 'Let's do exactly what I want to do.'"

Robin asked if Rob would ever sell out and do a children's movie, and he said he would: "Yeah, if I have to...there's no agency keeping track of people's integrity."

But He's No David Spade

Rob told the crew that he recently got divorced: "I got to keep the dog and she got all the money." Howard asked if the marriage broke up over infidelity, so Rob joked: "No. You're confusing me with David Spade." Rob went on to praise David's ability to pull top-tier ass: "He's put in his time...he's got all the moves figured out." Howard agreed with him.

Seagal is a Diety

Howard asked Rob to share one of his always-great Steven Seagal stories, and Rob indulged him, even doing a dead-on impression of Steven's hushed voice: "He's doing a movie with Keenan Ivory Wayans...[and] had just met with the Dalai Lama...the Dalai Lama had made him a deity. A god." Seagal was bragging about the honor, saying, "'In his wisdom, he decided to make me a deity...I feel a difference, an enlightenment.'" Rob laughed that a PA then interrupted Seagal, telling him he had to pick up his kids at his ex-wife's house, and Seagal snapped: "You tell that f'ing c--t to bring those kids over here or I'll break her f'ing neck!"

Jeremy Irons is A Little Stiff