Howard started off the show ranting that Richard's MRSA prank yesterday nearly derailed the show: "I generally hit enough homeruns that I'm considered a pretty good radio guy. If I allowed [pranks like] that it wouldn't be The Howard Stern Show."
Howard also analyzed the reasons why Richard's attempt at humor failed: "It wasn't funny for the audience because it was a visual joke. If I open up the show to Richard, he could do this every day... If I allow this to go on here, all is lost...the show would be a monstrous mess."
Benjy Catches Shrapnel
While Howard was going off on Richard, Benjy walked in late - and dripping sweat from his run through the lobby. Howard blew up: "Why do I have to be the guy to fire you after all these years? You're pushing me." Howard recalled that Benjy didn't get in until 6:38am yesterday: "I know it! I try to ignore it but I can't! Because it's an f' you to me! Why don't you just f' me?"
Benjy explained that he recently started going to sleep at 8 or 9pm and lost track of time while using the bathroom. Ralph called in to say Benjy was acting like he didn't really want the job, and Howard agreed: "He's angry about the job...he thought it was going to be a year or two on The Howard Stern Show and then he'd be writing for television shows." Benjy said his tardiness was probably the result of a latent desire for attention (even if it's negative), but Howard didn't care: "It's just annoying...you have a boss that's a pushover. That's why you have a good career."
Sal then came in and fitted Benjy with a dunce cap - which featured a giant dildo sticking out of the top. Howard then displayed his penchant for research: "You updated your Facebook page at 5:55...why would you update your Facebook page if you were f'ing late for work?" Benjy tried to argue his side, but Howard shut off his microphone: "F' you! Now it's 6:25 and I haven't done any funny stuff...I'm not even sure why you need to be here."