Lisa G reported that she called Dr. Drew yesterday, and Drew told her that Artie's self-administered attempt at rehab would fail - but refused to confirm Artie's claim that "Celebrity Rehab" had approached him to appear on the show's next season. Artie was angered by the story: "Why would he? Are you a dumbass? Why don't you call the producers?"
Howard asked why he was being so mean to Lisa, and Artie blew up: "I hate her guts. I don't like her...f' her. Someone better f' her...Bitch." Howard told Artie to calm down, but Artie continued: "F' her. Keep her away from me. When I'm near her, I'm disheveled." Artie blamed Howard for the problem: "You started a news department because you live clean...she's creepy...she'd love to waddle in here on her spindly legs and say, 'Artie failed!'...I think Lisa would like me to fail. I think Langford would love it. They would come in here and report with glee."
Final Arguments and an Apology
Fred asked if Lisa called Dr. Drew or if Drew called her, so Lisa G explained that she was the one who called: "I call people all the time about things that happen on the show." Artie didn't care: "Don't ever do it about me again. Unless you want me to hit on you...you call somebody and that's a story? You're a regular Jimmy Breslin." Lisa said she wouldn't stoop to Artie's level, and Artie laughed: "I don't want you on my level. I want to be on a level all by myself."
Lisa said she had one more story, so Artie joked: "What? Did you call Mars about Fred or something?" Later, Robin admitted it was nice to see the news department get theirs: "Its about time they got a little bit [of flak]...they make life miserable around here." Scott the Engineer also came in to ask how Artie could be upset with a little scrutiny after lying on the air so many times, and Artie agreed: "Scott, you made a great point, and I officially apologize to Lisa G."