Howard got Natalie Dillon on the phone to discuss the very-public auction she held to sell her virginity. Natalie told Howard that the Australian winner bid $3.8 million but backed out, leaving her with only the $250,000 deposit. Howard wondered why Natalie didn't go down the list to the next highest bidder, so Natalie explained she'd formed a bond with the winner. Natalie also cited the next highest bid at "a little over $1 million."
Howard asked how far Natalie had gone with her boyfriend, so she confessed to oral and anal sex - but claimed her vaginal virginity was still intact. Ronnie the Limo Driver then came in to say he was suspicious: "Who cares about this s--t?" Howard agreed: "Her story sounds fishy."
Irish John then called in to propose an excellent solution: "How much do we have to pay to make this chick go away? Can we raise money to have Beetlejuice bang her?"