Sal's friend Ian called in to complain that Sal had ruined his wife's recent birthday party, explain "Guess What's In My Pouch," went off on an anti-Semitic rant, asked a Latino woman to score him drugs, insulted the guest of honor and drew jiz all over her birthday portrait.
Sal later crashed at Ian's house and hid bananas everywhere--even stuffing them down the toilets. Sal said he called Ian the next day to apologize for the one thing he remembered--insulting Ian's sister--and learned about everything else he'd done: "I hadn't really been drinking in 3 months...I blacked out."
Sal added that his wife was so upset by the evening, she won't have sex with him anymore--when he tried to bang her the next day, she held up her hand, telling him: "Go away. Don't analyze it, Mr. Shrink. Just take it for what it is."
Just Ask My Wife
Sal was proud of drunkenly defacing the birthday girl's portrait: "I drew an arrow to her crotch saying, 'Wish I was here.'" Fred was positive: "At least that's a compliment." Asked to demonstrate his jiz-tagging skills, Sal whipped out a marker and drew a splotch on a photo of a woman's face.
Howard and Artie thought the results were terrible. Sal shrugged: "All my loads are horrible. Ask my wife."