Howard called Gary the Retard to ask if he'd like to fill in for Miss Howard Stern while she recuperates from her car accident. Gary was unsure, so Howard listed a few of Miss Howard Stern's duties: rub down Sal and Richard anytime they need it, brew coffee in a bikini, cook all of Artie's meals, don a dress and Dolly Parton-style wig and dance stripteases, answer all phones sounding like Andrea and massage men's buttocks in Central Park.
Gary said he'd never done anything like that before: "I wanna do something else and just come on your show. Do you know how long she'll be laid up?" Howard continued, saying Gary would also be asked to solve world hunger and adopt a baby infected with AIDS.
Gary promised to consider the offer: "I'll think it over. When are you going to call me back?"