Sandra Bernhard stopped by to promote her new album, "Whatever It Takes," and complained about "Jon & Kate Plus 8" star Kate Gosselin: "She's getting more work than me. And getting paid! It's a celebration of mediocrity."
Howard asked if Sandra was competitive with other female comedians, and Sandra confirmed it: "Would I say I'm irked and irritated by some of the success of others of them? Yeah." Howard wondered what Sandra thought of yesterday's guest, Kathy Griffin, and Sandra had a lot to say: "She's come to see me many times and she's taken my basic premise, which is to disseminate pop culture...she came and took the basic elements of what I did...[and repeats them] like a shrieking freak."
Sandra went on to say that Kathy's Bravo specials were repetitious: "Every goddamn time...if you're gonna have that kind of success, be intelligent. But if she was, she'd be me and wouldn't have that kind of success."
Sandra also told crew about being offered the role of "Miranda" on "Sex and the City': "When I was offered the role, they were paying everyone $7500 a week. The script – the original script? Was horrible." Sandra added: "I'm gonna play third/fourth fiddle to Sarah Jessica Parker and put up with her shit? It would be hideous to work with her. Ask any of the women that were on that show."
Sandra's Threesome with Ralph Cirella
Sandra also revealed that she had a threesome with her longtime girlfriend and Ralph Cirella this past July: "Ralph is a grown man. He's a dog...he joined in...one time. In the summer. He brought up a nice bottle of champagne. He was a gentleman. I'm telling you, Ralph really keeps things on the DL. Ralph runs deep."
Sandra went on to say Ralph had "one of the biggest" penises and kicked things off by giving her oral sex. After she orgasmed, there was "a triangulation" in which Ralph entered Sandra's girlfriend – but not Sandra: "I was kind of tired after he finished me off."