Whitney Cummings Does Not Want Facebook Friends

Photo: The Howard Stern Show

Whitney Cummings stopped by to promote her upcoming stand-up gigs and Howard complimented her on her bit about Facebook. Whitney laughed that the social networking site's "status updates" were useless: "It's embarrassing. Who cares? If you wouldn't say it during a phone conversation, don't write it out."

Artie asked how Facebook was different than Twitter, so Whitney explained: "Facebook you can upload photos nobody wants to see and videos nobody wants to see. Twitter is just instant ramblings."

Whitney reported that she'd recently shot a Ben Stiller-produced pilot with John Goodman: "I don't who I have to blow to get this thing to go...I just want validation so badly, I'd blow a random stranger." Whitney hoped said stranger wouldn't be shaven, as she rarely finds the look flattering: "I just can't figure out why all balls look like they're a hundred years old."

... And Has No Mercy for Ryan

Robin told Whitney that her insults hit pretty hard at the Joan Rivers Roast: "You said Robin, 'I love you,' and I was like, 'F' you, bitch!'" Whitney said Robin at least handled it better than Carrot Top, who once cried on a roast dais: "I was shocked that I could understand the emotion coming from him at all. Given his face."

Whitney then recounted a few of her greatest Robin hits: "I said, 'Robin's vagina is like the first five minutes of a movie. It's never been seen by a black guy.'" Whitney said she also had a molestation joke, but it got cut: "Robin's been f'ed by more family members than Dane Cook."