Kathy Griffin is Banned, Trimmed Down

Photo: The Howard Stern Show

Kathy Griffin stopped by to promote the new season of her new book, "Official Book Club Selection: A Memoir According to Kathy Griffin," and Howard immediately complimented her trimmed-down physique. Kathy asked him to go further: "Would you say anorexic?" Robin wondered if that's what she was going for, and Kathy confirmed it: "That's what A-listers do."

Howard thanked Kathy for mentioning him and the show so many times in her book. Kathy told Howard she liked it when he says he'd bang her, as it's the highest praise he could bestow on anyone – but confessed a greater attraction to Fred: "I find him physically attractive and I think he possesses a beautiful mind." Howard also congratulated Kathy on finally being asked back to "The View" (Kathy's last appearance didn't go so well), so Kathy explained: "But Barbara's not going to be there that day. And why do you think that is?"

Kathy added "The View" wasn't the only show that feared what she might say: "I still go in and out of bannings. I think I might be re-banned from 'Ellen'...I think she let me on so I would stop saying she banned me."

Jack Black Dumped Her for Dick

Photo: The Howard Stern Show

Howard asked after Kathy's celebrity sexual conquests, so Kathy related a few stories from her book, including the time she dated a pre-fame Jack Black: "He met my parents and everything." Kathy said their relationship fell apart to his addictions ("A lot of video games and a lot of pot.") and Andy Dick: "They kind of had a bromance going."

Kathy also said she dated Quentin Tarantino for while: "I have shame about that because I didn't f' him."

Calling it Like She Sees It

Kathy revealed that she'd ruined her relationship with her old "Suddenly Susan" co-star, Brooke Shields, during her last appearance on the Stern show. Howard had repeatedly demanded that Kathy claim Brooke was funny and/or a comedy genius: "And I was like, 'Well, I can't say that.'"

Kathy also discussed her friendship with Cher, recounting pretty much the same details that Joan Rivers gave during her last Stern show appearance but with one crucial addition: Cher claims that Chastity Bono – or "Chas" as she's now known – is only taking the hormone treatments as part of her/his sexual transformation. He/she won't be having any surgery to add or remove body parts.

Plastic Surgery Confessions

Kathy told the crew that Steve Martin was a total douchebag to her during a mutual appearance on Martin Short's old talk show: "He was really aggressively unfriendly." Kathy also confessed some plastic surgery, including two nosejobs and a round of liposuction so extreme that she couldn't pee after the surgery which left her lower body all bruised: "It's like I was Rihanna from the waist down." Kathy later relayed her masturbatory habits: "I don't have a dildo or have ever used one. I go old-school. Hands."