The second contestant, Jelena Jensen, said she was Miss March 2010--and showed the crew her real F-cup breasts.
Howard laughed: "That bra is a big harness...look at those. You know, they're not saggy or anything." Jelena said her breasts were actually what got her into stripping: "I saw an opportunity to make some money and set myself up for the rest of my life."
Now she's a porn star, but only bangs women on her own Website. "Not that many women. I don't work that often."
Jelena said she'd once had sex in front of everyone at an office party: "They were lifting me up. They were holding me up. Then the girls--a couple girls--started banging me." Impressed with her story, Howard asked what Jelena would do in other crazy situations, like a Charlie Sheen freakout ("Do what other girls have done. Run away.") or if she was blowing Geroge Clooney and his ass smelled: "I'd give him a handjob."
A Naked Poem
Jelena then read a poem she wrote herself as part of the talent portion of the competition:
Howard, O Howard, with your dark luscious curls, for 30 years, you've been driving us girls crazy with your personality, your humor, your wit and your controversy. You've been known as America's most beloved shock jock but I don't care about that-- I just want your cock. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. Or maybe I'm not. Let's not forget about Beth because she's f'ing hot. We all know how much you love your sexy sweetheart, but I still want to touch all her private parts. The powerful Sybian is something I've never tried. I've been saving myself for this show-- let's go for a ride. This wouldn't be complete without the lovely Robin Quivers: those gigantic 34Gs just give me the shivers. (In a good way of course.) And believe you me, I'd love to bury my face in them-- Pretty please? I know you're not bi, but I can be your Mrs. X. Or we can be completely platonic. We don't have to have sex. Now I'm running out time, so I can only just mention the rest of the crew so they vote for me in this competition: Fred, Jason, Gary, Sal and Gange, Scott, Richard, Benjy, Will, JD and Baba Booey.