Is the Phantom Pooper a Wide Receiver?

Lisa G reported that she'd spoken with an expert from SiriusXM's Doctor Radio channel, and the doc told her that the person responsible for the mystery poop-ball on the staff bathroom floor may suffer from a prolapsed anus or sphincter malfunction – symptoms of frequent anal sex or sticking things up one's anus.

Howard told Lisa to continue her research: "Lisa, I'm giving you permission to investigate all the rectums on staff."