Richard Lewis Is a Toilet Elitist
Richard Lewis stopped by to say hi and said he agreed with Gary's new staff bathroom restrictions: "I'm an elitist when it comes to moving my bowels."
Howard asked why Richard always wore Nehru jackets, so Richard explained that he'd once seen Lenny Bruce in one and immediately went out and bought 7 or 8 of them: "I'm not a f'ing wack-job, I just like Nehru."
Howard laughed: "See, I thought you were a fan of the Emperor of Japan."
Richard shrugged: "I think I'm one of the best-dressed comics that's ever lived."
Richard said he sympathized with Jesse James, as he was an addict himself: "I'm not surprised that anyone f's around...I think men wanna f' as much as they can."
However, Richard didn't think sex addiction was necessarily bad: "I was a sex addict when I went from one woman to another...it was a contest. Like another line of blow...it's great if you can become a sex addict with one woman."
Howard wondered if Richard would let a neo-Nazi blow him, but Richard balked: "You're only half-Jewish. I'm totally Jewish."
Following Wilt Can be Intimidating
Richard told the crew he once dated someone who'd also dated legendary NBA player (and cocksman) Wilt Chamberlain. Which was great, at least for a while: "I got an average dick. Ok? It's not small. It's not gigantic. It's good! It's good. No one's complained."
After she told him, Richard freaked out: "My penis had a panic attack...I ran out of the house screaming. I would've needed a penis posse to go in there."
Larry David Is Rude, Wealthy
Richard said he recently went out to dinner with Larry David--only to have Larry leave two minutes after ordering tons of food to go play poker with Steve Martin leaving him with all the food and the bill.
Richard added that Larry did call him later to invite him to the poker game, but he declined: "They had an empty seat and had forgot. I was alright with that but I wasn't gonna go anywhere."
Howard asked if it was because Richard was insulted, but Richard denied it: "Because imagine their game. 'Alright, I'll see that $30,000?'"