Tila Tequila Is Tiny but Mighty
Tila Tequila stopped by to promote her new single, 'I Love the DJ' (A follow-up to her first single, 'I Like to F---.') and Howard immediately marveled at her sheer dress.
Tila divulged: "I did this just for you guys. Special. And I haven't even slept yet."
Before Howard could get a word in, she continued: "I call myself Hurricane Tila. I'm ready to release the poison."
Howard thought her dress said it all: "It's completely see-through. You can see your thong and bra through it."
Tila said she packed a lot into her 4'11" frame: "Tiny but mighty."
Hurricane Tequila Started Young
Tila said she was sexual from a young age, having her first orgasm at 5 years old and her first lesbian experience at 8: "We would go into this closet and just touch each other down there...we kept touching our vaginas and rubbing on each other."
Later, she started waitressing at a strip club when she was only 17: "I used my sister's ID."
Tila said she's since perfected her trade: "I'm the type of girl that, um, I can f' you and make love to you at the same time. That's what makes it really explosive and addicting and that's why people fall in love [with me] really fast...I'm naturally very sexy. In bed, especially...you want me to show you with a blow-up doll?"
Tila's Bedroom Voice
Tila began trying out her soft-voiced seduction technique on Howard, who responded quickly: "I'm getting a bit of a boner! I do like that."
Howard wondered if Tila'd ever tossed a man's salad, but she balked: "No sir. No thank you. For women, that's fine."
Tila said she was more willing to push her boundaries with women: "I will make you cum but I will make you feel like you are a queen."
The Tequila Train Derails
Tila then told the crew about the non-sexual side to her troubled youth: "I went to jail twice, I had 6 near-death experiences...I fought a guy, ok? I went to juvenile for 6 months and he went for 3."
Howard asked if she knew karate, but Tila denied it: "I don't need to know karate. I will slit your motherf'ing throat with my iciness."
Juvie didn't come between her education at Houston Community College though: "I actually went to college."
Tila's Next Top Blog
Tila told the crew about her problems (and confrontations?) with gossip blogger Perez Hilton, but Howard couldn't catch a thread: "Seems like a lot of nonsense."
Tila dismissed Perez's blog ("He doesn't even blog anymore. His sister blogs."), saying she planned to start her own gossip empire: "It's a legitimate celebrity gossip blog. I've got people who used to work at E! Online and TMZ and...I am the O-M-G of all media. L-O-L-O-L." [Ed: She did spell out 'oh-em-gee' and 'el-oh-el-oh-el.']
On Shawne Merriman and Casey Johnson
Howard asked after Tila's very litigious break-up with San Diego Chargers linebacker Shawne Merriman, but Tila begged off: "I don't want to talk about him. We're not allowed to. No. We settled."
Tila was much more forthcoming about the recent death of her fiancée, cosmetics heir Casey Johnson: "She did have a lot of prescription medication. I didn't know what they were...we'd get in really bad fights about that."
Tila continued to mourn Casey ("When I first met her, she was really a train wreck. I'm not going to lie."), saying the Johnson family had left her behind: "The reason she was out of control was because she didn't have a foundation of love and I provided that."
After Casey's death, Tila nearly honored her dying wish--by going to a sperm bank for in-vitro fertilization: "I was still going through Post-Traumatic Stress."