Andy DIck on His New Home: Don’t Call It a Shed

Andy Dick Photo: The Howard Stern Show

Anti-Care Package

Andy Dick described his anti-care package:

“It was this little box where I had a–a little cast picture of the Ben Stiller Show, I had a script of The Ben Stiller Show and I had some memorabilia from The Ben Stiller Show and I had a letter that I had smeared some of the ink–I had fake-smeared it as if I had been crying–and I wrote, ‘I don’t know what–what’s happened to us’ and it was just this fake letter.”

Andy continued: “I gave it to his office. He wasn’t there so I left it on his desk and I think he took it to heart and he thought it was real. And whether it was real or not, he thinks I’m just f’ing nuts. He just clipped me and I think it’s because–I’m going to say it again–he’s probably going to get into politics.” Howard thought Andy was confused: “You know I love Andy, but Ben’s probably scared shitless of Andy. It has nothing to with the box…that’s probably the least of it.”

His Recent Arrest

Howard played another clip from the interview in which Andy explained his recent arrest for trespassing: “That should not have happened. That was–that was me–that was me trying to–now that I’m in my shed…” (Howard cut in to explain that Andy’s broke and currently living in a plastic shed on his ex’s property.)

The clip picked back up with Andy saying he hadn’t been drinking–until that evening: “I hadn’t drank for a year and a half.”

Andy said he’d gone in search for more alcohol and come across a welcome-looking home: “There’s some nice festive Christmas lights that are leading down to a house. I wasn’t out of it. They’re inviting me. Take your goddamn f’ing lights down if you don’t want me to come in here. I see people–I see people milling about in there. They’re holding wine glasses…and it was a nice neighborhood. I’m like, ‘I bet–I bet that’s some damn good wine.’ So I–and there was a bunch of them–so I–I–I wander in and I come in and I say, ‘This is not–this is not the fire department.’ And they just panicked. Which I guess anybody would.”

‘I’m Not a Tool’

In yet another clip, Greg asked Andy about his new home–a retrofitted plastic shed–but Andy took issue with the word ‘shed’: “I call it a guesthouse or ‘The Mancave.’ Because shed? I’m not a tool.”