Chris Rock and David Spade stopped by to promote their new film, 'Grown Ups,' and Chris immediately took Howard to task for his Carson-esque schedule: "You kind of work 2 and a half days a week."
Chris laughed that Howard could've retired--like Johnny--in grand style and passed the torch to a worthy successor--Artie--but messed it up: "You find the one guy that would actually take your spot and you hop him up on heroin...you killed your Leno."
Howard tried to ask David about his 'ladies man' rep, but Chris cut in, claiming that David wasn't really a dog: "He's like a guy who likes wine...he savors the pussy."
Howard understood, saying he always fears each time he has sex it will be his last time: "We're like guys on death row!"
David stayed quiet, even denying that he was dating 'Top Chef' host Padma Lakshmi: "No, no, no. We're just, uh--we're just..."
Who Was Paid More?
Howard asked if the guys had negotiated their fees with 'Grown Ups' co-star/producer Adam Sandler, but Chris denied it: "I just say yes...there's a slight negotiation. It wasn't shit money."
Chris refused to be specific: "Some of us are more highly paid than others...all of us have a career outside of this so I'm sure our pay reflects [that]."
David said only one guy complained about the money--Rob Schneider: "Cause he's Rob and it's funny."
Chris Wasn't Taunting Kobe
Chris also denied that he was taunting Kobe Bryant during the NBA Finals: "No! I think I was talking to Spade."
Chris said he was startled when Lakers head coach Phil Jackson took exception to something he'd said: "I was scared out of my f'ing mind. Cause he's big...it did catch me out of left field. Cause I've never--I've sat in those seats twenty times."
Spade said he watched it all happen and thought Phil was just annoyed by all the interviews taking place on the court during timeouts.
The Pressures of Ensemble Comedies
Chris said the success of 'Tropic Thunder' and 'The Hangover' lit a fire under the 'Grown Ups' cast: "We've got to come correct. I'm not ready to be out of work. And these guys are young. These guys are f'ing bringing it...I don't feel like being on the UPN."
Spade on Lara Flynn Boyle
Howard asked David about his relationship with actress Lara Flynn Boyle, and David confessed that it was a rocky affair.
Howard wanted more detail: "Why did you fight with her so much?"
David deflected: "She's crazy?"
David had even less to say about dating Heather Locklear (post-Sambora): "There was a sticky situation there. Definitely."
How They Write Their Acts
Chris told the crew how he writes his stand-up routines: "I write an hour and twenty minutes-worth of 'act'...then I go down to Florida. I go down to West Palm for about a week or two weeks. And I'll work down there for two weeks and I'll bring in, like, five guys to just watch me and they'll come up with tags for the stuff I already wrote."
David said he often bought jokes from comedians--but only after he's seen them audience-tested: "I would give like five hundred bucks if it were a funny joke. [Maybe] a thousand bucks."
Chris Defends Leno
Howard asked about Chris' frequent 'Tonight Show' appearances, and Chris came to Leno's defense, saying he never understood why Conan O'Brien was allowed to (briefly) take over the show: "Conan was awarded this job. He didn't compete to get this job."
Chris then said he had to go ("I've got to do a video to recruit LeBron or some shit?") but not before explaining why his wife hates the show: "I think it's just convenient for her to hate you at this point. It's just a part of her identity."
Happy Fathers' Day, David
Howard asked the question on everyone's mind--what about that kid David fathered with Playboy Playmate, Jillian Grace?
David balked at first ("I've gotta run but I, um...") but confessed: "It's a tough situation. I'm doing my best. It was not 100% planned. And, uh, it rocked a couple of relationships I had--just around me in general. Even fam--everyone. It was a ripple effect. It was definitely a--uh, a bomb there that people don't get over right away. It was just a tough situation. You can imagine."