Fake Arnold's Reversed Position

'Arnold Schwarzenegger' called in to explain why he reversed 'his' position on gay marriage: "I'm out of office in September, so who cares?"

Fake Arnold said weddings were already fruity enough: "No straight man--in his right mind--wants to get married anyway. It's totally gay."

George tried to cut in with some serious arguments, but Fake Arnold felt he'd conceded enough: "Just shut up and be gay already!"

Fake Arnold then confessed to spiking his coffee ("Who cares if I've had a little bit to drink!") and invited George to become his Secretary of Gay Affairs--George readily accepted: "I'd be happy to serve you in every way. Do you hear that? Every way."

Fake Arnold said George's first order of business would be a PSA: "Maybe you could cut a promo asking the homos to cool it a little bit, you know?"

As Howard hung up, he laughed: "That was not Josh Robert Thompson as Fake Arnold."