Jim Breuer stopped by to promote his new book, "I'm Not High," a book Howard read—or at least the second half of, starting with Jim's "Saturday Night Live" days.
Jim said he was actually added to the "SNL" cast at the network's request and not, like most others, because Lorne Michaels had seen potential in his audition: "I later learned that I was almost like a political match."
The Joe Pesci Show Saga
As a result of the politics of his hiring, Jim floundered backstage until an intern told him to pitch his dead-on Joe Pesci impression for a "Weekend Update" walk-on segment.
Jim built the impression into "SNL's" infamous "Joe Pesci Show" bit after busting Lorne up mid-pitch: "This is when I felt like my dad finally accepted me."
When the bit became successful, Lorne began inviting Jim out socially: "I started getting invited to the dinners. The dinners! Which were huge. The Tuesday Night Dinners ... now I'm in the club."
Jim said Lorne's dinners were always star-studded: "Paul Simon ... Will [Ferrell] was always there. Norm [MacDonald] was never there." Jim said Norm probably didn't want to be there in the first place: "He's anti-everything."
Jim said Joe Pesci and Robert De Niro later asked to come on "SNL" and appear in a "Joe Pesci Show" sketch—a deal Lorne brokered. Jim nearly blew the initial meeting with Joe, who asked: "Are you Italian? So where you get your balls?"
Jim said he thought Joe was joking "but then he wouldn't stop!"
Jim laughed that he tried to blame the writers, but Joe didn't care: "You're the one whose mouth is on the television."
The Great Un-Filmed Jim and Tracy Comedy
Jim said he and Tracy Morgan once pitched a movie in which he starred as chubby-chasing yokel: "I was a real redneck and I was attracted to god-dog ugly women because my mother was manly looking."
The script became a wayward love story in the second act, when Tracy hit his character with a car: "Tracy would play two characters. He would play a woman ... and her uncle who got out of jail."
When pair pitched the project to execs at Universal Studios, they ate it up: "We got up to page 55. The president said, 'This is the weirdest script I've ever heard in my entire life ... but I trust this cast and I trust this producer. When do you want to film this?'" However, the film never got off the drawing table as they were unable to work around their "SNL" schedules.
Jim's Dad Is Still Crapping Himself
Jim said he still cared for his 87-year-old father, whose advanced age has left him with chronic incontinence: "You don't know when you're crapping yourself."
Jim personally cleans up after his father's accidents: "It looks like algae from a pond. It's not so much the diaper that kills you. It's when it's on his legs."
Jim laughed that he had to clean up after his dad so many times on his last comedy tour, he tried to control the old guy's diet: "The last three days I starved him to death. I'm not even kidding you."