Howard evaluated the outfits worn by today's Russian Speed-Dating Game contestants, starting with Scott 'The Engineer' Salem's dark suit-and-sunglasses: "He looks like Uncle Fester but he's missing the personality."
Fred laughed: "He looks like a Don Buchwald impersonator."
Howard thought Ronnie might do well in his standard attire: "His girlfriend is 28! I mean, he's got young women in the palm of his hand!"
Gary said he was glad he wasn't participating--he rarely got laid before he started working on the show: "I was like the Mets during a bad season."
Howard commended JD for cleaning up this morning but thought the job was incomplete: "You should have shaved underneath your chin. You look like an Al Qaeda terrorist." Lisa G thought JD should have gotten a real haircut: "Don't let that stripper cut your hair!" Howard agreed: "Would you go to your barber for a lapdance?" Fred laughed that Will appeared to be Amish in his tucked-in button-up: "It looks like he's about to build a barn." Howard thought Will--even Amish Will--stood a good chance. Accordingly, Howard planned to win by hinting at his success ("Ever hear of a group called Pearl Jam? I'm not in it.") or outright lying: "I need to tell the girls I'm wearing a mask and I'm really a hot guy."