The Ants Go Marching In

Howard describes his trip to Turks and Caicos with Beth

Howard said he and Beth had gone on a trip of his own over the holiday break: to the Turks and Caicos: "I had the worst goddamn time." The trip started with a short flight, but things quickly went awry: "First thing you do is get on a boat to get there. I hate boats." And only got worse when they arrived: "Every day was very windy. Very strong winds. So we bundled up by the pool." Howard said they had move from room to room (to room) to escape a nearly resort-wide ant infestation: "They're swimming over you. A sea of ants." Beth tried her best to put a good spin on the trip, but Howard couldn't understand what drew the island's seasonal residents--including Bruce Willis, Keith Richards and Donna Karan--away from the comforts of home: "It's not for me, this travelling. I don't like it."