The Sad Life of an Emetophile

Howard noted Jeff's weight gain, so Jeff shrugged: "I am sluggish. I eat a lot of junk foods. That's true."

Jeff said he lived alone with his father: "My mother's dead." Howard laughed: "From embarrassment?"

Jeff pressed on, saying his father didn't approve of his fetish ("He's from the old school.") but loved their army of cats: "I used to have 17. Now I have 10."

After Jeff described his old job as a postal worker, Robin shuddered: "I never want another letter." Jeff took it well, acknowledging, "I'm a very pathetic's a very tragic situation."

Howard asked Jeff to pen a personal ad, so Jeff began: "Clean-shaven, 5'9", a little pudgy in the mid-section, not into any vices such as, uh--I'm not a drinker. I'm not a smoker...I would say I have a typical Jewish nose...I'm in a quagmire. I'm in a holding pattern."