David's Dancing Days Are Over

David Arquette called in to say he'd learned a lot from his time on the show: "Like, it's not that big a deal, I've got to give myself a break and not be so hard on myself--things like that."

Howard speculated that David's departure was predetermined, but David denied it, saying the show had only let him down once--last week: "I had a magic trick that was supposed to start the whole dance off. But it just wasn't there."

Howard begged David to bring in his girlfriend in on Monday ("C'mon let me meet her."), so David laughed that he wouldn't dare: "Throw her to wolves? [...] She's a legitimate reporter." Howard bristled: "Legitimate? She's a gossip reporter."

Deflection: Chaz Bono Was a Man for Halloween

David deflected from the girlfriend conversation by telling Howard that he took fellow 'Dancing with the Stars' contestant Chaz Bono to Kate Hudson's Halloween party--Howard joked: "And Chaz dressed up as a chick to fool everybody?"

David just laughed nervously so Howard continued: "Would that be gay if you banged Chaz?"

David confirmed, "Yeah. Chaz does not come off as a woman. Chaz seems like a guy to me."