Brett Ratner called in to celebrate the success of 'Tower Heist,' thanking Howard for his support, and to clarify a story he'd told on Jimmy Kimmel about him and Michael Jackson throwing water balloons at a homeless man: "It wasn't like Michael was like, 'Let's go out and hit homeless people with balloons.'"
Brett repeated his original story--pointing out that he'd specified the man was "like a homeless person", meaning, "It was probably a guy who was like a surfer or something."
Brett said he'd just wanted to tell a good story: "I was in the middle of an embellishment and I got carried away...and I never want to defame Michael."
Howard thought Brett shouldn't be so concerned: "I like that you defamed Michael. I think Michael--first of all, I never liked his music."
Denying the Story
Asked about a recent incident in which he'd disparaged Olivia Munn, Brett said she'd more or less named him as a gross, shrimp-loving ex-lover in her book: "I should have said, 'I don't eat shrimp. When I jerk off, I don't eat shrimp'...[but] I said I banged her three times, which isn't true."
But he did bang Lindsay Lohan--right after Wilmer Valderama: "This was before she was actually 'Lindsay Lohan.' She was really young."
Brett said Lindsay had actually once caught him in bed with a Victoria's Secret model: "I didn't hear from Lindsay for weeks, so I was like, OK, I'm going to move on to the next one."
While the couple were in bed, Lindsay showed up at the front door and blew up--Brett's no-shoes-in-the-house policy had backfired: "At the front door, she saw 6-inch Christian Louboutins."
Brett repeated that this was early in Lindsay's career ("This was before she was a lesbian.") but insisted they were now on good terms: "She emailed me yesterday."
Brett's Hollywood Sex Rule
Howard continued to press Brett on his infamous sex life, so Brett confessed: "Before I have sex with a girl, I do do one weird thing. I take them to the doctor and check them out."
For years, he's been using the pull-out method (after the girls return with his doctor's approval) until his doc also tested his sperm count: "He goes, Brett, in 25 years, I've never seen a sperm count like this...he said I have 10 times [normal]. 480 million sperm. He said, 'If you breathe on a girl, she's going to get pregnant.'"
Brett laughed: "So now I'm only condoms."