Why Brett Ratner Quit the Oscars

Howard discusses the Hollywood Reporter piece.

Early in the show, Howard noted Brett Ratner's resignation as producer of this year's Academy Awards show. Howard said many people were upset with a comment ("Rehearsal is for f*gs.") Brett made after a 'Tower Heist' screening in LA--but the Hollywood Reporter thought at least one of 10 other comments Brett made recently counted as well: "At least the first five are from the Howard Stern show." Howard then read the first half of the list, all comments Brett made on Monday's show: 1. On Lindsay Lohan. "I'm a hypochondriac. Before I go all the way, I send the girl to the doctor and check them for everything. My doctor has a test to tell if you'll catch something in the future even." 2. On Olivia Munn: "I said I banged her three times which isn't true. The problem is I made her look like a whore." 3. On his balls: "I have huge balls." 4. On his giant loads: "I turned 40, and I said, 'Holy s---. I've never gotten a girl pregnant.' And I've been doing this pull-out thing for year and years and years. So I go to a doctor and I said, 'You gotta check my sperm.' He calls me up two days later and says, 'We gotta talk.' .... He said, 'Brett, in 25 years, I've never seen a sperm count like this.' The average load is 40 million sperm, and only 30-40 percent are motile. He said I have 10 times, 480 million sperm, he said, 'If you breathe on a girl, she's going to get pregnant.' ... So now I'm condoms only." 5. On cunnilingus: "I'm probably the best in the world at it." Before moving on, Howard said Brett would weather the storm just fine: "I think the Academy has announced that they're looking for someone with a lower sperm count than Brett Ratner and isn't so good at eating pussy either."