He Used to Be A Scientology Goon

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Mark said he used to work as a private investigator for the Church of Scientology: "They hired me just to do--to do background work."

He would watch "everything you could think of about you. Surveillance. Pull trash."

But he wasn't a member of the Church: "I was an outside contractor...but I did have to go through the whole E-meter test before I started doing work for them. It was like something like, you know, my 3rd-grader made with two toilet paper rolls."

Mark wondered if it was the best idea to expose his past ("Someone's going to be watching me, now, Howard."), as the Church still employs the very best: "I was the best trash-picker in the U.S."

When he's not working decoy cases, he still picks through trash, most often for his political clients, who are often looking for "anything they can find" on their opponents.