John said he first injured his balls getting out of bed a couple of years ago: "I slammed my right leg down so hard on my right ball...oddly enough, it's not the worst pain." Now it's a struggle just to poop: "I have to bend over slightly and put a slot machine bucket back there...over the sink."
Even worse, his balls have swallowed his penis: "As the ball-sack continued to grow, it sucked in my dick. It's created, essentially, a c-hole."
John then--with some effort--whipped his balls out of the upside-down hoodie sweatshirt he uses as pants as Howard screamed: "Is that your penis?!"
John nodded: "Inside the hole."
Robin turned away: "Oh, I'm gonna be..."
John said he'd visited a surgeon who can fix the problem, but it'll cost him cash he doesn't have--and, essentially, his penis: "He says [I should] expect to pee through a tube for the rest of my life and never have sex again."
Dr. Billy Goldberg, Doctor Radio's resident ER expert, came in later to report: "I've seen some big balls in my day...those are the biggest."