Dave Attell stopped by promote his upcoming AVN Awards hosting gig--and Howard was shocked by his appearance: "Whoa! He looks different. New year, new look...you have a ponytail. When did you decide to grow a ponytail?" Dave shrugged: "I guess when I gave up?" As the crew laughed, Dave insisted he was serious: "I'm broke. I'm not kidding around." Dave confessed to Howard that his career was stalling, joking: "You're taking a second job. You know how it is...after the show, will you, Sharon and Howie be selling merchandise in the lobby?" Dave doubted whether Howard's AGT move was the right one, citing its 8pm time-slot: "You're not an 8 o'clock act! 8 o'clock [viewers] are coming from, I don't know, frogurt."
Too Ugly For 'SNL'
Asked how he'd never made the jump from SNL writer to on-camera cast member, Dave sighed: "Because I'm ugly! I mean, now it's a fug-fest...[but] I auditioned to be on the cast and they said, 'You know what? You're a writer.'" As if to prove his claim, Dave said he hadn't had sex in over a year, but "I think I'm going get married by the next time you see me, though. I think Benjy's going to hook me up through his fake Craiglist/J-Date thing." Although he did admit that he wasn't too ugly to have dated Sarah Silverman.
The Hate Speech Tour
Before he left, Dave said he would soon be embarking on a comedy tour with Jim Norton, Artie Lange and Doug Stanhope--and cited Doug as the nastiest: "Stanhope is the filthiest, dirtiest one of the group...a wild renegade, [a] f'ing vicious, genius drunk." But Dave said it worked: "He's the best comic I know." Dave laughed that they were thinking about calling it the Anti-Social Comedy Tour, but, "It's four white guys, so I think we're going to call it Hate Speech.