Howard welcomed the contestants for today's Dumber Than A Box Of Rocks competition, starting with porn star Rikki Six: "I do everything but anal and interracial. I just like, feel like I want to enjoy it and be attracted to it. I don't want to fake it. I want it to be real in my movies. And if it was interacial, it just wouldn't be real to me because I would have to fake it to be into it."
Who was Romney's running mate? Torrey took the 1st point: Paul Ryan.
Spell feces. Jayden: F-E-S-I-E-S. Rikki: F-E-S-I-E-S. As Robin laughed ("That's exactly what Jayden said!"), Torrey blew it as well: F-E-E-C-E-S.
What does the abbreviation "oz" stand for? Jayden: 'The Wizard of Oz.' Rikki: Oxygen. Torrey earned her 2nd point: Ounce.
What is a piccolo? Jayden scored: A musical instrument.
What does 3D stand for? Rikki got on the board as well: Three dimensional.
What does CPA stand for? Torrey: Certified Personal Accountant. Rikki: Certified Physician's Assistant. Jayden did no better. [A wash. The correct answer: Certified Public Accountant.]
It's 10AM, what time is it 10 hours from now? Torrey earned her 3rd point: 8pm.
Spell feces. Jayden struggled, but nailed it the 2nd time around: "F-E-C-E-S."
Who wrote 'Romeo & Juliet'? Rikki also scored a 2nd point: Shakespeare!
In what country was Osama bin Laden killed in? Torrey: Afghanistan. Jayden: Guatemala. Rikki: Iraq. [A wash. The correct answer: Pakistan.]
What is ? of 24? Torrey clinched a victory, earning a 4th point: 3.
For second place, what is the imaginary line around the earth equally distant from both poles? Jayden knew it: The Equator.
For a 2nd place tie, what six letters are vowels in the English language? Rikki settled for 3rd: "A, E, I, O, U and sometimes I."
Steven Singer then came in to award Torrey an oversized check for $5,000, but she seemed more interested in leaving: "I need to use the bathroom."