Alec Baldwin called in to catch up with Howard and explain why Howard hadn't been invited to his recent wedding: "We tried to do it low-key. We figured, if you were there, there would be too many interruptions."
Howard said he was worried about Alec's whirlwind romance, to which Alec blustered: "That's a very active word, worried. You thought about it for like an elevator ride or you really thought about it a lot?"
Howard asked if Alec's wife, Hilaria Thomas, was pregnant, but Alec denied it. Still, he hoped she might be: "I'd love that. Really. In a sense, that's a very good reason to get married. To have a family." Asked if he had a prenup, Alec dismissed the idea, citing his lack of faith in our legal system: "They make it up as they go along. So the point is, when you get divorced, you roll the dice. Prenups are not worth the paper they're printed on … There's no place where there's more racketeering than a courtroom in this country."
Alec's 'Fifty Shades' Sex Life
Under continued scrutiny, Alec laughed that Howard and Robin were too jaded: "The two of you are probably the two most drippingly cynical people who ever lived. I've been married two weeks. Can't you have a little hope?" Howard said he always looked to the bedroom for hope, so Alec joked that he and Hilaria were doing quite well: "Take the book 'Fifty Shades of Gray' and multiply it by the tenth power."